I often wonder what motivates someone…
What’s their story?
What makes them want to make a change?
When do they reach “rock bottom”?
What prevents them from reaching “rock bottom”?
Things that motivate you constantly change. If it didn’t, wouldn’t our flame just quietly burn out? and all we would be holding is a bunch of hardened wax.
Unfortunately, frustration, desperation, resentment, hurt are the feelings that we give into a lot more and seek out ways to sabotage ourselves. You find “comfort” in doing things that you’re familiar with; comfortable with, vices that make you numb. (i.e., food, drugs, alcohol, etc) yet only damages you mentally, physically and emotionally when it becomes the only thing that you turn to in search of comfort and escape from reality.
We always go back to what hurts us rather than reassessing our plan and reminding ourselves that we’re training for a long term goal, and we owe it to ourselves to stick it out and push that much harder just to get that much further. Don’t we?
Instead, we continue to remain in a comfortable, familiar time and space that is controlled by fear, self doubt and very little confidence. We resort right back to what our bodies our accustomed to and let our mind control us. Let our problems dictate how numb we want to be.
What if we just used those “negative” feelings as a driving force to make us do better?
What makes some people fight for their life, and other choose to just watch their life pass them by? It’s never a simple answer….
Fighting for your life requires a willingness to face change and for you to allow yourself to become vulnerable to the unknown.
Fighting requires faith and to allow yourself to believe you’re worth enough to go out and find the answers to become better than you were yesterday.
A quick story…
Tonight, while out grocery shopping, I encountered an obese man walking back to his cart with a gigantic jug of vegetable oil. He was breathing heavily, struggling to walk the short distance where his cart was waiting about 5 feet away from him.
I wanted to walk up to him and share a piece of knowledge; a better option to cook with, but the next time I saw him, he was paying for a huge bag of cooked fried chicken at the food kiosk before walking out the door.
Maybe you think I was judging him. I wasn’t. I swear. I felt concerned and I was just observing him trying desperately to figure him out. I just couldn’t help but wonder what his life was like; what his back-story was. You see, I didn’t just see an obese man, I envisioned someone who cared for him and loved him, having to live without him.
And I wondered what would motivate him?
I’ve been that way for the past week. Observing and asking questions; praying that more people could find the strength or motivation to fight adversity, hardships and obstacles that get in the way of making healthier choices.
These past few days, I couldn’t help but feel anxious. A lot has been going through my mind and it’s followed by a feeling of despair and hopelessness. It’s that feeling you are trying to fight, but your hands are tied and there is a deep sadness felt in my heart so much so that it aches.
And I wish I didn’t care so damn much.
But I do. I want my friend of 17 years to be okay. I want her to experience life the way I do on one of my happiest days. I want her to be able to go out to lunch and talk with me over coffee. I want all of these selfish things that really sound like they have to do with me, not her. Because right now, I’m sure she just wishes that she could feel better once and for all. I’m sure that she just prays that they will find a way to help her heart heal so that it will stop destroying her kidneys and liver.
I wish for that too. But to wish for those out loud would be to acknowledge things have changed and time has passed.
I pray that my stepfather could heal and not have his quality of life disrupted by spinal stenosis. That would mean everything could go back to the way it was before. I’m not naïve. We’re getting older. But I just wish I could be granted a little bit of that innocence that left me the day my father passed away in 2005.
I try to stay focused on my long term goal so that I don’t unravel when life throws curveballs at you one after another. That pain I feel is what keeps me pushing and fighting…
When life opens up into a huge slippery slope, I go to the gym to and just focus on the weight on the bar, and to replace the pain with a different type of struggle.
I want to feel uncomfortable by something that I can actually control and conquer.
When I train, I feel alive. I feel all of the venom in my veins being lifted from that bar. I feel strong; I feel angry too, but mostly, I feel strong.
I train because it makes me feel disconnected from that ache in my heart.
When I train, I’m not just training for myself. I’m training because someone else can’t. Or someone else won’t.
I train because I feel as I get stronger, they’ll get stronger through me as I’m able to lift the pain and frustration that burdens them.
Why do you train? How has training helped you deal with issues in your life? Let me know in the comments below.